Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize