I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
