i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
