was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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