Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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