Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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