He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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