Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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