you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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