I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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