i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
