Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
