Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
