Nicole vs. Life
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
