Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
