cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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