This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this beer tastes like vomit already
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
