After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
being pregnant is like rehab
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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