living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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