"it" just moved
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Hippo gnu deer
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
