Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
In America we eat man semen.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize