Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize