If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize