Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
