My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
