Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
