I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize