the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
