Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
