Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
