Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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