apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
