After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
