I'm eating all of the evidence.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
