Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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