Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
