I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
