no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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