someone threw a dead crab at me
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
