Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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