Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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