dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
