my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
