# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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