So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
