I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
