and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
