So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
