I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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