You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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