...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
