I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
