i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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