Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
