Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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