Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
