And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
