8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize